Pronouns: She, her
+ Madness; extravagance; spark of an idea; the breath before inspiration
– Apathy, carelessness, or rash behavior; expectations can breed resentment; poor planning, lack of perseverance; better starter than finisher
The Fool card in every Ki11erpancake deck is a self-portrait. At this point, it’s become an inside joke: “I’m such a fool for making another deck! Why do I keep doing this?!”
The Fool is as much an illustration of hope as it is a manifestation of the creative spark and potential.
However, within the context of this deck the Fool is also about purging fear. CULT was born of my desire to express a number of ideas about gender roles and to come out as a queer woman in a self-made space where I felt comfortable. My hesitation comes from not feeling “queer enough”. After seeing other people discuss this topic, I chose to use my work to talk about who I am, the world as I see it, and the hope I have for the future.
This card is very meta. Just as the Fool travels through the Major Arcana cards, meeting the different challenges found in each, I as the illustrator of this deck am tasked with meeting each card and crafting a new interpretation. The goal is to create a usable deck and a piece of art that brings new ideas to the table. (No pressure.)
The Fool depicted here is no different than any other in a deck I’ve created except she an older and wiser Fool. This is the fourth self-portrait I have created for a tarot deck but the look in my eyes is a look of hope towards the future. The blood pouring our of my mouth is a purging of things deeply hidden and feared. I’ve decided that I am done worrying about being “enough”.
If this card comes up in your reading it can mean a number of things: At the beginning of a reading a Fool could be something exciting (a new project or person) is in the works and you are in that dreamy ideating phase. Don’t forget, that coin has two sides! If this ends up later in the reading I would read this has a pivot. If its negatively aspected this tends to be a sign of procrastination or flakiness. The best way to combat this would be to sit down and tackle one thing on this list. Once you get started the rest will follow.